Quotes

These Quotes are from another blog: http://parkerbennett.blogspot.com/
I thought they were pretty funny.

"Who put a freakin' door in a freakin' doorway?! GOSH!!" -some random guy at school.
"They misunderestimated me" George W. Bush"
2+2=5 for extremly large values of two."-?
"You thought i thought you think I thought you think you thought? I think." - Patrick on spongebob.
"I reject your reality and substitue my own." - Adam Savage
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
It is better to be queit and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger andbetter idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?
-Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. John Peers
-They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
Pratt and Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
-Were going to turn this team around 360 degrees. Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
-China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. Former French President Charles De Gaulle
-"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli." George Bush.
-"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.", Dilbert.
-"Hermits have no peer pressure." Steven Wright.
-"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." Dave.
-"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." David Letterman.
-"If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough."Anonymous.
-"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand." Anonymous.
-"Constipated People Don't Give A crap.", Anonymous.
-"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." Steven Wright.
-"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" Homer J Simpson.
-"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."Homer J Simpson.
-"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.", Anonymous.
-"Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting." Finley Peter Dunne.
-"Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools." Gene Brown.
-"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf." Anonymous.
-"Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!" Eric Cartman.
-"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be" Anonymous.
-"Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos." Homer J Simpson.
-"You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try." Homer J. Simpson.
-"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." Homer J Simpson.
-"Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"Rita Rudner.

l8er

-ash